You too? Well, I have a little somethin' to help give you a break!
Oh, and while I'm dishing on my imperfections, I may as well admit I'm a worry wart!
Anxiety comes to me naturally. My mentors (and therapists, yes there have been a few) have taught me about choosing joy over fear but my brain doesn't always want to listen to that. Truth be told, I'm seriously good at spiraling into self-doubt and despair.
Some days life as the owner of a small business and single parent of a teenager can be incredibly awesome and others days down right overwhelming. No matter how perfect life can seem on the outside, I have a feeling there are very few of you who can't relate to at least some of the challenges I am 'blessed' with.
When I'm pulling myself out of a funk, one of the simplest most effective things I can do to re-boot myself is to plunk myself down in the middle of our garden. It's not big, fancy or particularly well groomed but it gives me a serious amount of joy to be surrounded by the abundance of what's growing around me.
Sitting on the ground in my garden today, while nibbling on one of our last cherry tomatoes, I was visited by a cute lil' honey bee, and I reflected on a few things our little urban garden has taught me.
In the garden, there are all kinds of pests and the plants are totally at the mercy of their environment. Similarly in life, critics and naysayers always seem to emerge out of the woodwork. And additional inconvenient influences almost always creep in like: getting sick, when your computer poops out, managing debt, and worse when a good friend passes away (which happened to me recently).
we too are at the mercy of our environment.
Some choose to give up and settle. Some turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with this fear (can't lie, I do enjoy a little wine most nights - lol) while others try to control people or situations.
We cannot control the people, the pests, the diseases, and accidents but we do have a choice in how we respond and whether or not we have faith that the universe will take care of us, (and our gardens).
This little garden of mine battled quite a few enemies this summer. Ears of corn lost their kernels to an army of worms. Many of my tomato leaves browned and became wilted with some sort of virus. My peppers faded to black. The squirrels ate ALL of my cucumbers. And my kale was so enjoyed by pests that there were more holes left than leaves.
I could have said 'screw it' and gone to the grocery store for dinner. I could have declared I sucked at gardening. But I ponied up and fought back. I whipped up natural pesticides and powders, pulled out the weeds, tucked in netting and wooden stakes.
I did what I could, and left the rest up to the universe.
And the good news is that each day since early summer, I have been woken up to new treasures. Tomatoes boldly peeking through their vines on my fence, an array of crisp lettuce for dinner every night dressed with pesto from freshly picked basil. I've witnessed tiny seedlings transform into big juicy eggplants (think homemade baba ganoush) and fresh baked zucchini bread that has filled our studio with sweetness.